Tuesday Talk: When one moment outwieghs what could have been.


My Message to the Parents of Teens

     I’m only 17 years old and I had an abortion this past spring. My baby would be a few months old if only I had the strength to stand up to the social pressures and just give it a chance at life and love. I know a lot of teen girls are either considering abortion or trying to understand it. I hope my willingness to tell my story leads parents to seriously take some time and talk to their teens about sex.

 

     When the crisis started I wasn’t able to process through everything the way that I needed to, the way I wish I would have. I made a serious connection with the baby living inside me. I promised I would love it even if its father didn’t approve of its being. But, I aborted when I was nine weeks along. 

 

     I am from a solid family, I attend church on a regular basis, and I live in a “good” community and go to a top-notch school. To put this into perspective, I was planning on going to one of the most popular universities in the Southeast, which was one of the major reasons I panicked, when I found out I was pregnant. The other major reason was the father of the baby is Catholic and admitting he got a girl pregnant would not be accepted in his family.

 

     I seriously regret my abortion. It caused me to be depressed and change as a person. I stopped hanging around my friends who tried to make me feel good or happy, because I didn’t think I deserved attention or love. I didn’t tell my parents, they still don’t know, but I’m pretty sure they are wondering why I’m so different. I have increased my alcohol intake significantly, my hope is that it will ease the pain and stop me from remembering what I did.

 

     I wish I would have had the guts to place the baby for adoption, but instead I am unhappy and heading toward a drinking problem, which produces mood swings and depression. I also experience serious anxiety issues. Sometimes I wake up crying and end up missing regular stuff, like my senior graduation party. I have serious sleep issues, I try to shake it off and smile and act like I’m okay, but I really am not.

 

     If you are a parent of a teen, please talk to your son/daughter about sex, before they are pressured to have sex. Encourage them to talk to you about everything and make sure they know that if they get pregnant to tell you, even though it will be really hard. I thought I could live with my abortion, but six months later I’m still upset and I cry a lot. I can’t escape the reminders of what I did. Something will trigger an emotion, even when I’m not thinking about it. Every day I say over and over, “I killed a baby” … seriously, it’s rough, unpleasant, and I can’t escape it. It’s all around me and it will not go away. I still talk to my baby, I think it was a boy, but I will never know. “He” is in heaven now, which is what I tell myself all the time. I hope someday I can get pregnant and make this all right.

 

I wish I would have not gotten pregnant, but the problem existed before I got pregnant. I wish I wouldn’t have had sex!



Tuesday Talk: Let the Pruning Begin! Tuesday Talk: To direct or not to direct?
Tuesday Talk: Let the Pruning Begin!
Tuesday Talk: To direct or not to direct?