But you don’t mention the Bible!

I hear it over and over. A young girl will come into the clinic and get her positive pregnancy test result and as she processes through her shame and confusion she will often mention her parents and her faith.  It’s sad! So many young people within the body of Christ seem to be wounded and hurt emotionally and psychologically because of issues related to sexual intimacy.  It seems as though sexual health is often off limits and not discussed amongst the holy huddle of the church or within the home between mom and dad.   


Where do most young people learn about sex? Social network platforms, peers, the media, etc. Most of the information young people receive about sex doesn’t come to them in a straightforward informational style, much less with a factual explanation about why a young person should not engage in sexual activity.


I’m often challenged on how I can handle speaking in the public schools about sexual health without adding a Biblical perspective or the faith based components to the message. Yes, the public school focuses on factual and biological information, the physical mechanics of sex and the physical anatomy involved in reproduction. But the message that I share is loaded with life skills, it’s relationally based, and promoting sexual health that is applicable to all students.  The great thing about a medically accurate message is that it aligns 100% with the Bible’s message related to sex outside of marriage. It’s not a message of fear, it’s a message of truth, delivered in a way that all students can receive it and determine if they want to apply it to their lives.  


I know a number of parents who have fought vigorously to keep all sex education out of the public school system, and some who have sought to keep sex education from being part of the curriculum in the private school system.  Their reasoning is almost always the same, they want the privilege of sharing this sort of information with their son or daughter. But it seems these are often the same parents that never get around to having a straightforward, all-questions-appropriate-to-ask conversation in which sex is discussed fully, freely and without embarrassment. The most common version of sex education that I hear from parents is “don’t have sex until you’re married and if you do, be safe” or “don’t have sex until your married because that’s what the Bible says.”


And that’s if it’s discussed at all. Often times the topic is never even mentioned.


On the other hand, many students in the public schools have parents that check sex education off their task list because they feel as though the school has it covered. If the schools didn’t broach the topic, would these parents step up to the plate and cover the message within their own home? Your guess is as good as mine.


And then there’s the hot discussion about which form of sex education should be taught. Should the message be don’t engage in sexual activity and here’s why or we know you want to have sex, so let’s make sure it’s safe. Each one of these messages has labels and political tones that I am not going to discuss at this time. But the complications connected to this discussion are extremely broad and our teen’s lives and futures are at stake.   


Current research shares that only 5% of the unmarried, young women currently seeking an abortion had a parental conversation about sex before they chose to engage in sexual activity. Research also shows that the parents who do prepare for sex-related conversations with their teens are usually 2 years behind in doing so. 


Setting the research aside, the next question would be, are the parents that are willing to talk to their teen son or daughter about sexual activity truly educated in reference to today’s sexual realities that the teen community is up against?


Lots of hard questions to answer.      


And meanwhile, the culture our kids are currently being raised in is showering them with a plethora of unhealthy sexual choices on a daily basis. Emotions are being shattered, lives are being deeply impacted, and serious psychological scars are being formed.  


So, do I struggle with fact that I can’t connect a faith based component to the sexual health message that I deliver in the public schools?  Allow me to answer that question with a question. 


Just to bug you! 


Do you struggle with the number of young girls and young boys that are engaging in teen sexual activity and have no true understanding of how such a choice will greatly impact their future? I do!   


Tuesday Talk: Are our teens being proactive? The “Feelings” Myth
Tuesday Talk: Are our teens being proactive?
The “Feelings” Myth