The “Feelings” Myth

One of the most concerning relationship concepts currently being promoted in our culture is the “feelings” myth.  Do our teen sons and daughters know that relationships, love and marriage do not hinge on feelings or what I would term emotional ecstasy? Feelings can definitely help point a teen in a healthy direction, but more often than not feelings lead our teens toward unhealthy choices and relationship dangers.  Feelings should not be the sole foundation on which an entire relationship is based, especially the physical components of the relationship. Feelings come—and then feelings go, but most teens don’t understand this. The teens who build their relationships on the foundation of “feelings” will find that when the relationship ends, their heart is broken, and it is hard to make sense of it all.


Throughout our teens community there are young men and mainly young women waiting for that magical moment when they will come face to face and eye to eye with the person that will stir their heart and connect deeply with their soul. They are dreaming about the one who will complete them and make them whole.


But, there is no such thing as a person who will complete them.  Healthy relationships begin with positive interactions, effective communication and an emotional give-and-take that reflects overall health and wholeness. They are rooted in good choices and grounded in hard work and, let’s be honest, a whole lot of grace.


As a parent you are given a wonderful opportunity to help your teen understand that healthy relationships will always include an abundance of healthy feelings, passion and romance—but the choices that they make in the relationship are not solely based on those emotions.  The goal for our teens during this stage of life is to get to know themselves, and then intentionally spend time with the opposite sex who has the qualities they are looking for in the future.


Help your teen understand the truth by contradicting the myth that there’s magical and mystical feelings that should control what they do or don’t do with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Instead they should be looking for qualities, traits and characteristics that are attractive based on the things they know are healthy in a relationship. Challenge your teen to only date someone that emits healthiness and respect. Yes, feelings will always be present, but they can never be the foundation of a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is really a combination of facts and feelings, and a whole lot of good choices.  

But you don’t mention the Bible! Peer and Pressure Proofing our Teens
But you don’t mention the Bible!
Peer and Pressure Proofing our Teens